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Barbara Walking in the Valley
A Bi-weekly column, featuring one Christian's (a)musings on life's journey

by Barbara Dahlgren

How Man Became "King of the Grill"
Column for the weeks of August 1-15, 2006

Some men are not foreigners when it comes to cooking in the kitchen. However, it is usually BBQ season where they reign supreme. Man is called the “King of the Grill.” And rightly so because BBQ season is a man’s time to shine as a host!

Men choose their grills carefully. After all, they will be cooking at least 2 meals there each summer. Should they have a charcoal grill? Gas grill? Electric grill? A smoker? Should it have a rotisserie? Should it be a hibachi? Kettle grill? Steel drum grill? With this major purchase out of the way, it’s time to plan the meal.

Men choose what they will grill very carefully. Will it be burgers, hot dogs, chicken, or salmon? Will it be a roast, ribs, kabobs, steak, or chops? With a great deal of forethought, men also choose what beer will be served. With these major decisions out of the way, it’s time to invite all the guests and have the cook out!

I’m sure you’ve heard a form of this story before, but perhaps not in this context. Here is how man first became the “King of the Grill”…

The man chose his grill.

The man chose the meat.

The woman planned the rest of the menu.

The day before the event the woman did all the shopping.

The woman prepared and poured marinade over the meat.

On the day of the party, the woman made the salad, prepared the side dishes, cut some veggies up, iced down the drinks, and made a dessert or sliced a watermelon.

The man performed the donning of the “King of the Grill” apron ritual.

The man executed the “Lighting of the Grill” ceremony.

The woman placed the meat on a tray with the BBQ sauce and cooking utensils needed at the grill. She took it to the man who was having a beer and visiting with the other men near the grill.

In a formal procedure the man placed the meat on the grill.

The woman went in the house to organize the plates, glasses, bowls, napkins, and flatware.

The woman set the table.

The woman came out to give the man a platter for the meat and noticed the meat was burning. She pointed this out to the man who was visiting with the other men.

The man thanked her and scurried to start turning the meat over. He asked her to bring him another beer and another round for all the other men near the grill. This was thirsty work.

The man took the meat off the grill with great decorum and put it on the platter.

 With much aplomb the man placed the platter of meat on the table which the woman had arranged with all the other food the woman prepared.

The woman got everyone a drink and made sure everyone had what they needed.

Everyone ate and had a great time.

After eating, the woman cleared the table and did the dishes.

Everyone lauded praises upon the man. They thanked him profusely for all of his hard work in cooking the meal.  

The man was tired but feeling pretty good when all the guests left.

The man asked the woman how she enjoyed her evening of leisure.

Man was thereby “crowned” by the woman, making his “King of the Grill” status official.

Next time you’re invited to a BBQ at someone’s house, remember that behind every successful “King of the Grill” is an exhausted queen!

Would someone please bring me a beer? This queen is taking a slight respite.



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