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Barbara Walking in the Valley
A weekly column for those who live and walk in Silicon Valley

by Barbara Dahlgren


The (RE)Call of the Wild
Column for the week of August 10-16, 2003

When the dust finally settles and the law suits are all over no telling how many candidates will be in the running for governor of California during the recall election scheduled to take place in October. It only takes 65 signatures and $3500 to qualify. If any independent wanted to get a toehold in politics this would be his or her best shot.

The foreign view of California (foreign meaning everything outside of CA) is probably best summed up in an article in the August 7, 2003 edition of the Taipei Times stating that this recall election reinforces “the old stereotype of California as the home of Goofy.” That is true and let’s not forget Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Daisy, Daffy, Porky, Fred, Wilma, Yogi, Rocky, Bullwinkle, Bart, Homer, Bugs, Elmer, Tweety, Sylvester, Woody, Foghorn, Beavis, Huey, Duey, Luey, Wakko, Yakko, and Dot. Many are comparing the recall to a 10-ring circus but I favor a cartoony analogy myself. Animaniacs could have a hey day with this scenario. I’ll list some of the more colorful candidates of the 500 or so who have threatened to run and you can imagine which cartoon character they most resemble.

Muscle bound Austrian born Arnold Schwarzenegger, former Mr. Universe and current movie star, became a U.S. citizen in 1983 and would like to follow in Ronald Reagan’s footsteps if he doesn’t get terminated in the process.

Computer programmer Georgy Russel is financing her campaign by selling thong underwear embossed with “Georgy for Governor.”

Porn king Larry Flint has the slogan “the smut peddler who cares” and states, “"I may be paralyzed ... but not from the neck up, like Gray Davis." Look for moves toward legalized prostitution if he wins.

TSOL band member Jack Grisham’s former hit songs were Property is Theft and Abolish Government.

Angelyne once wrote a screenplay entitle “The Bra That Ate L.A.” and gets her jollies by putting her image on billboards.

Arianna Huffington is a Greek born columnist and minces no words in her views of politics or anything else.

Gary Coleman, former child star of TV show "Different Strokes," is all for gay rights and legalizing marijuana.

Gray Davis, present governor and mudslinger extraordinaire, is a lean, mean campaign machine.

The 99 Cent Stores of CA were even trying to sponsor a 99 year old to run but they couldn’t find one who could walk far enough much less run.

I was thinking about throwing my hat into one of the 10 circus rings. The 65 signatures would be a snap and I could borrow the money but I absolutely refuse to run unless I can announce my candidacy on The Tonight Show and Jay Leno won’t return my calls.

The rest of the candidates seem to be mere politicians. Although politicians can be entertaining, they can’t compete with the cornucopia of characters mentioned above. It should be an interesting race but we won’t know the players without a program or a TV Guide. We are in for a wild time in “goofy” California!



©August 2003

Be sure to visit this page every week to read the next edition of Walking in the Valley. You can write to the author at bdahlgren@wcgsouthbay.org.

 

 

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